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About Digital Art / Hobbyist BrierFemale/United States Groups :iconall-open-adoptables: All-Open-Adoptables
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Deviant for 6 Years
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cats by lover234567890 cats :iconlover234567890:lover234567890 8 3 Departure - Original by Singarl Departure - Original :iconsingarl:Singarl 370 83 Karine -The Cat-Owl by CindyWorks Karine -The Cat-Owl :iconcindyworks:CindyWorks 642 144 Night Cat by StormOwlArt Night Cat :iconstormowlart:StormOwlArt 136 43 outa world by Apofiss outa world :iconapofiss:Apofiss 6,917 406 winter by sandara winter :iconsandara:sandara 14,405 717 wide awake by Apofiss wide awake :iconapofiss:Apofiss 14,471 851 Siesta of the Cat by Ailanista Siesta of the Cat :iconailanista:Ailanista 12 2


Hey everyone, I'm alive and I'm okay. I kniw I kinda left off with a bad note in my last journal and I'm about to explain why. I'm gonna be back on here soon as my new charger for my tablet and hopefully I'll be back to drawing in no time I miss it a LOT.
But to explain what has been going on in my life...

My ex and I have been apart since about...end of march? I believe and things got rough. I was the only one working and him and his new girlfriend were livibg off of me and whoever else they could con into helping them. Well I eventually had enough of being treated like shit and I dumped them both in Virginia Beach and moved out in the same day. I have been out of the house since April 15th and living with my current Boyfriend and Girlfriend. Yes I have both lol and I am a million times happier with them than I ever was with my ex. About a month after I'd been moved out he comes back contacting me telling me his Girlfriend split on him in the middle of the night doing drugs like cocaine, Molly, Acid and much more.

Me being an idiot I went to him, comforted him as a friend and treated him as a friend because deep down I will never ever not love him or really not be in love with him, he was the first man to steal my heart and he will remain my kryptonite forever which is why I can not be around him because I cant tell him no, I can't refuse to help him my heart wont let me. Needless to say it caused a lot of problems with my couple, distrust and jealousy and fear came about and we started fighting and it wasn't until last night I realised that my ex was creating all this to distance me away from the two people who have made me extremely happy, made me feel like I was doing something wrong. 

My ex got down on two knees last night at 1:30 am and proprosed to me in front of my store, knowing full well I was in a relationship with two people and like I said...James is my kryptonite and like an idiot I didn't think things through...I said yes in a hasty reply and thought that I made a good choice until I got on the phone with my couple and had my heart broken in such a way I can describe to no one because there would have forever been a hole in my chest. It took them talking to me and asking me what I really wanted and honestly I still wish to run away but I came to the realization I have to stop looking at my past, stop looking behind my shoulders for the devil and keep looking ahead towards whatever my future holds.

I declined my ex's offer of marriage because he showed me his true colors when he took my phone amd insulted and taunted my boyfriend, like a child with a toy. He disowned his own father and dared him and taunted him to hit him and his own father couldn't strike him but has said he wishes to have James committed for help because we believe he is unstable and might be on drugs...

Believe it or not dropping my ex was like a weight lifted off of me for the first time in the last year...I'm free to go out and make a new life with the two people I love dearly without interuptions, without being made to feel like I'm doing wrong. My life has slowly started to become better, soon I'll have a new vehicle and I'll be visiting my sister for the summer for a week and eventually maybe I will move out of state but for now I think I can be content to stay where I am. 

My life is content and I have never been content in all my 21 years even as a child. I truly think I might have a ever after with this story.

So that's what's been happening in my life lol, i've had enough drama I can start to get gray hairs! But I will be back on here shortly in a few weeks I hope sooner!

  • Listening to: Wait for you - Elliot Yamin
  • Eating: Subway
  • Drinking: Sweet Tea
Hey guys...a lot has been happening in my life right now and I haven't been able to handle everything or my emotions until now and even now I'm still struggling to hold on. 

Me and my Boyfriend broke up, we had a seriously fucked up situation and by the end of it he claims he's fallen in love with someone else. I'm still living with him and his new girlfriend, as hard as it is I'm struggling to keep my emotions in check and try to get enough money to buy a car. I'm moving to Tennessee when I get it all taken care of so I can be closer to my sister and father, they've offered to help me get back on my feet.

I apologise to those I haven't talked to and to those who I owe art to, please bear with me until I get through this, its caused my Bipolar to flare up as well as my ADHD and ODD and Manic Depression so I'm a ball of unexpressed feelings and I'm stuck between wanting to break down crying some days and wanting to break things and then wanting to just sit there and pretend everything is fine.

I'm sorry guys...
  • Listening to: Wait for you - Elliot Yamin
  • Eating: Subway
  • Drinking: Sweet Tea
My life is always going to end up fucked up...why can't i ever be happy?


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Bluebird Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
It's been a long time coming, and I dont think you're into the group anymore, but I finally got Syviis to alpha :) Here she is, in all her super-awesome glory!
Syviis 4251 by TotemSpirit
Acethewolf20 Featured By Owner May 18, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
The boo lives here v:
Akiitas Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
[G] Dat Sassy Smol Tongue by Akiitas

Ū v Ū ~ Lil' White Heart 
(1 Reply)
spottedstripe12 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hey! Remember me? C:
(1 Reply)
Zuschke Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2016  Professional General Artist
.:Maric:. Thank You for the Watch+ by Zuschke
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